WARNING TO MY MOTHER!!! You will most likely cry...DO NOT READ AT WORK!
Over the next few week a group of women that I work with will be working our hardest to raise money for Relay for Life- Abilene. We all have different reasons... we all have passion for it, and we all have had the blessing to work with some of the most amazing cancer patients. I thought that I would write my "testimony" on why and how I got to where I am today....This should be fun...haha
It all starts back in 1998 I believe...and really even before that. My Granny was diagnosed back when I believe my brother was in first grade with breast cancer. She was then treated and blessed with a second chance and beat the beast! (yes beast b/c that is was cancer is...one big fat ugly beast!). It is well known that breast cancer has a pretty good chance of coming back 9-10 years later...well my Granny was one of those "lucky" ones. This was either my 8 or 9th grade year. I'm not sure how long she battled it b/c of course I was a hormonal teenager who only care about herself! (hard to believe I know...not a sign of hormanal in me at all!) I remember my parents telling us about, knowing she was sick but didn't realize what was really going on. I do remember being in the hospital room one day and hearing that it had spread to her lungs (the same hospital floor that I would oneday work along with her nurses as a intern)...with many many spots. I remember my mom's cousin Tom and Susan visiting, all of my Granny's sisters and family from Orgen coming. I remember when my dad and I went to go pick Granny up from her house in Tipton, OK to come move in with us b/c she had gotten too sick...I remember being annoyed that I had to go on the LOOONG day trip to pick her up and then walking in the door and seeing her so sick and knowing something was so wrong. I remember doing flips off of her walker! LOVING having my Granny so close! I remember when they told us it had turned into Leukemia. I remember how tired my mom was, and how hard it is on the caregivers, and family! Then I remember helping my dad and uncles build a room in the garage for my brother to move into when they put her on home hospice, and then my parents finding my brothers fireworks he had hidden in the closet when they moved the oxygen in! (thank God they found that before we had a problem!). I remember all the yummy food people brought to us! I remember the day of my brother's graduation...I believe my Granny went in and had a transfusion that morning...and there was NO way she was going to miss my brother walk across that stage! Vicki Penn and my Aunt Susie took her late...I remember seeing them wheel in minutes before Jason crossed that stage and Jason finding her as he walked across and waved to her! I remember her face just light up!!! She made it!!! I still have the pictures of of that day...and how worn out she looked. I remember Jean Lawler coming and sitting with my Granny, I remember how cool it was that Meredith's Nana and my Granny were going to be best friends!
One of my most vivid memories still haunts me to this day!!! She was so tired, so weak, my mom feeling the same way. My mom asked me to sit with my Granny for a little bit so she could get some rest, take a short nap and a shower. Sure...how hard could that be....till a hormonal teen gets a phone call from her boyfriend...I left the room to talk to Carl and the next thing I remember is my Granny yelling "Kris, Kris, help" in her weak voice. My mom and I run in there and she had rolled between the bed and the rail of her hosptial bed. I felt awful! I was the worst grand-daughter, and daughter EVER!!! How could I think that phone call was more important than my dying grandmother! It seriously still haunts me to this day!
I remember the amazing hospice nurse that she had! (I'm thinking now she might of been an aide...but that just as important as a nurse!). I LOVED when she came, I would help her give her the baths, help change her bed sore dressings. Anything she needed me to help with I was going to do!
I remember picking up my Aunt Susie from the gray hound bus stop EVERY Friday. I remember the day that my mom just needed a break, and went out shopping. She came back with a couple of BLACK dresses for herself and me! Why would I want that I remember thinking...then later I realized she had gone funeral shopping...What a awful break that had to of been! I remember one night talking to my Granny just the two of us. She couldn't sleep and she started telling me what songs she want to sing at her funeral, that she DID NOT want fake flowers left on her grave. Her telling how special I was.
I remember the night that she passed away like it was yesterday! There was a youth event that night. Jason and I would be out of the house. Carol and Mere came to get me. I went to tell Granny bye for the night and she told me how much she loved me, that she couldn't wait to see me later. I remember it not being the same type of goodbye...it had a different meaning. I can remember my heart feeling different. I didn't want to go anymore! I remember telling my mom call me if something changed. She gave me her pager promising to call. I remember that night swimming and I gave the pager to Jenny Walker so that I would know if it went off, and then getting out of the pool to see if had. That night we were watching 16 candles and I see my parents walk in the livingroom! It was like a out of body feeling...I knew what that ment. She had passed away that night, right after my Aunt made it in on the bus, she said her goodbyes and went to sleep. She was finally at peace! No more suffering, just pure peace with our amazing savior! God is sooo good!
From that day on I knew I was going to be a nurse. Not just any nurse I was going to be a oncology nurse! At that point I thought I would be a childrens oncology nurse...I didn't like old people! (well most old people). That's another long story that my heart has changed!
Now forward a few years. My freshman year of college, studying to be a nurse. I remember being SOOOO mad at my mom. I felt like she was avoiding my calls, if she did answer I could tell there was something wrong and she wouldn't talk long. I remember the night before they came out for freshman follies, walking the ACU tract talking to Jennifer telling her how mad I was at my mom. The next morning I was at Jason's waiting for my parents, with all my friends. They finally get there and my dad takes me and Jason into his room. He told us that my mom was diagnosed with cancer and would have to have surgery. My mom didn't want to tell me over the phone and that's why she had been avoiding me. I felt sooo awful for being mad. But that evil beast had struck again. God is sooo good and healed my mom with just surgery! I don't know what I would of done without her.
Our family has it's fair share of fighting with the beast of cancer, and I'm not done fighting!!! I will keep fighting with my patients! I will keep fighing for those who can't fight any more! Even if God has different plans for where I work, my passion for fighting for cancer patient will always be there. Please help me fight for our cancer patients in Abilene and donate to our Relay for Life team! (team Parker 7)!!! There is a link on my facebook page! Or you can go to American Cancer Society- relay for life Abilene, I'm under the team of Parker 7! Please help us!!
All of our little kids! In mid may we are doing a walk for Cannon who has spinabifida! If you would like to help me raise money for him just let me know!
Cindy walking her surviver walk!
Thanks to everyone who helped me raise all of my money! It means so much to me and I can't wait till next year!
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